Ryan Lappin: Sex Story

I recently added "Ryan Lappin", previous Cheez TV presenter, on MySpace. I sent him comments and wrote him a story, now we are friends.

Our correspondence went as such:

Me:
"OMG
Remember Cheez TV? and you were all *funnyness* and I was all *laughing*!
Remember?!
So do you come to Canberra often? I will assume you do. My phone number is 0434896644, give me a buzz next time your in town."

Ryan:
"HaHa, yeah, I'll always remember the funniness. Thanks mate, When I'm in your town I'll buzz yer. All the best mate.
Ryan"

Me:
"Hey!

I've missed you, it feels like forever since our last convo.

So whats up?"

Ryan didn't reply to me unfortunately, so I wrote and sent him this story:

Jonny Goodwin shivered as he walked down the midnight street. He pulled his arms into the torso of his t-shirt in an effort to warm them, but to little avail. If only he had brought a jumper, he thought, of course he had never intended to stay so late, so such self-punishment was unjust. He let out a sigh of exasperation as he turned from the street lamp filled road and into a darker, single lane crescent. The night enveloped him as he progressed, it was unsettling and caused irrational thoughts to enter Jonny’s head, only some of which involved attractive policewomen. Gradually the loneliness began to evaporate via the sound of an approaching auto-wagon. Jonny’s shadow appeared, shrinking rapidly as the vehicle drew near. But rather than speeding past in the expected climax of sound and light, the car slowed, and stopped alongside Jonny. “Need a lift mate?” The roadster asked ominously. “No... No tha-“Jonny stopped short, he had caught a glimpse of the driver’s face, it was Ryan Lappin. “Yeah!” Jonny replied breathlessly, due to his lack of breath. “Hop in” said Ryan Lappin, a noticeable glint in his beautiful eyes. Jonny gleefully empassenged himself in the shotgun seat of the Cheezmobile, and flight was metaphorically took. Jonny saw the excitement in Ryan Lappin’s face grow in intensity as they navigated the empty streets and boulevards; Jonny’s own penis seemed to gauge it quite accurately. “Wait, you don’t even know where my house is...” Jonny realized quietly. “Do you really think I ever intended to take you home?” said Ryan Lappin, smiling disarmingly at Jonny. The car revved ferociously and sped up upon Ryan Lappin receiving Jonny’s return smile. Eventually they arrived at a house that Jonny instantly knew could only belong to Ryan Lappin. It was eighteen stories high and twenty-three stories wide, its walls were made of titanium, and its roof was made of used hymens, but there was no time for awe. Ryan Lappin quickly led Jonny to the door. He fumbled the keys but managed to unlock it, and unveiled a world of utter whimsy. A truly vast room met Jonny’s eyes. Illuminated by hundreds of floating candles, Jonny saw that the floor was made of enchanted wood that revealed the weather underneath the house. Ryan Lappin clapped twice. The room suddenly fell into darkness, and was re-lit to reveal not the grand hall that had previously been, but a smaller, more velvety room. In the centre lay a heart-shaped bed laden with handcuffs, dildos, and several kittens. Next to it was a small table with a large bucket atop labelled “lube”. Jonny, excitedly bobbing on the spot, looked around at Ryan Lappin. He clicked his fingers and Jonny was all of a sudden naked, handcuffed to the bed-post, and very erect. Ryan Lappin teasingly began to undress, biting his lower lip as he peeled off his shirt to reveal the dictionary definition of ‘toned’ tattooed on his torso. He literally ripped his pants off, no hands, and crawled along the bed to Jonny. He sat on top, spread his bottom, and eased Jonny’s penis in. Jonny instantly had a sack-emptying orgasm. “Oh God!” said Jonny, “I am so sorry!” Ryan Lappin just smiled and violently flipped Jonny over on the bed. He stuck his penis deep inside, “Oooh Ohhh!” exclaimed Jonny as he felt his belly button become an outy. Ryan Lappin humped and humped away on the writhing body of Jonny. His several orgasms didn’t seem to deter him, if anything they made his thrusts more forceful. Jonny threw up from pleasure before Ryan Lappin stopped, “Ohh God...” said Jonny. “That was fantastic” said Ryan Lappin, patting Jonny on the shoulder, “It truly was” replied Jonny, Ryan Lappin gave Jonny a kiss on the cheek. He then closed his eyes, a small smile on his face, and extended his arms. Tears began to flow gently down Jonny’s cheek. Ryan Lappin’s body reached a new level of luminescence, and tears too appeared in his eyes. He then ascended into heaven.

Ryan:
"HaHa, you're fuckn insane. When do you get the time to think of AND write this shit!? Funny yet, deeply disturbing.
All the best,
Ryan"